WOMEN ONLY!...ULTIMATE SEX TIPS FROM PROFESSIONALS!

We asked the five leading sex experts in the Nigeria for their most frequently asked questions. Here, their answers about hooking up, kinky sex, taking charge in the bedroom, and more. Plus, get more steamy sex tips!

Q: How can I take charge in bed without bruising his ego and wrecking our sex life? 
A: Make your comments about the present and not the past. You'll get a better response from "Let's start doing fresh new things, so we don't get stuck in a routine," than from "What you've been doing isn't working."
Realize sometimes saying something isn't enough. When it comes to men, you need to demonstrate. Could that mean pulling out a vibrator, grabbing his hand, and showing him just where to put it? Definitely.
Or, you can take the approach of one woman I know. She had a hard time telling her boyfriend that she wanted him to spend more time on oral sex and that she wanted him to be gentler about it. So she woke up one morning and told him, "I had a sexy dream about you." He was like, "You did?" and she said, "Yeah, but I'm a little shy about telling you." Of course, he was really interested, so she described a whole dream in which he was doing exactly what she wanted him to do. It got the message across.
—Aderibigbe, Ph.D.

Q: My guy and I spend lots of time away from each other. How can we keep things hot?
 
A: Internet sex can keep you primed for each other. It can be as simple as IM'ing and creating sexual fantasies together to masturbating together. Now there's even "tele-dildonics": You plug your sex toy into your computer, and your boyfriend can log on to the Internet and control it for you remotely (or you can control his).
To make Internet sex work, you have to find the mode of communication you're both comfortable with. If you're visual, that might be a Webcam; if you're not, try audio (Yahoo! IM has an audio and video component). If you prefer writing, think about whether you'd rather flirt back and forth, build fantasies with IMs, or trade stories via e-mail.
One of the reasons Internet sex is great is that most people take more risks online. Once you can talk about sex on the Internet, you become better at bringing things up offline. Say you send an IM saying, "I've always had this fantasy about balloons in the bedroom." Your man might be thrilled his girlfriend is kinky. So the next time you bring up your fantasy in person, instead of giving you a strange look, he'll simply ask, "What color?"
—Regina, sex columnist

Q: How do I make anal sex more comfortable?
 
A: Anal sex isn't pleasurable for everybody. Most women I hear from who want to make it more comfortable are having anal sex just to make their boyfriends happy. Are you kidding? If it hurts and it's awful, the answer should be, "Hey, dickhead, we're not doing this anymore." I'm telling you: Stop it, ladies!
If you have pain, your body is telling you something. There will be medical consequences. In the short term, there's the risk of tears, fissures, and fistulas. But I'm much more concerned about the long term. Go talk to a 75-year-old woman sometime who hasn't had anal sex, and you'll see that as you age, the rectal area has tons of problems associated with it anyway. You can get hemorrhoids and abscesses, and the rectum can prolapse into the vagina or out of the anus — and that's without ever having anal sex. Yet you're setting yourself up for these things with this behavior! If you don't have pain with anal sex, then your body may be tolerating it, although you still run the risk of problems. I shudder to think what's going to happen to young women later on when they continue to have painful anal sex.
—Onuoha, M.D.

Q: My guy either can't get it up or orgasms too fast. How can I get some satisfaction?
 
A: You don't have to suffer just because your guy is having performance problems. As long as he's got fingers and a tongue, he can still make you happy. He should be using them anyway: 87 percent of women can reach orgasm by clitoral stimulation, while very few women are able to reach orgasm by traditional intercourse.
Never blame yourself for your partner's performance problems or think that you're not sexy enough. It's his problem, not yours. Let him deal with it, honey. You can absolutely talk about it, and very gently suggest that he go see a doctor and get it checked out. But you cannot be his sex therapist.
—Rita Johnson, R.N. .

Q: If I go home with a guy from a bar or a club, especially if I go to his home, is the expectation that we'll have sex?
 
A: About 90 percent of the time he hopes so, yes. And his expectation doesn't change whether you go to his place or to yours. Does it mean that you have to have sex with him? Absolutely not. Once you have an inkling that the two of you are going to do something physical, decide how far you're willing to go and stick to it.
And try to go to your place. I think it's easier for a man to insist on going further sexually on his own turf. If things get weird, you can kick him out. If that doesn't work, you know exactly where the telephone or baseball bat can be found. But most of all, you'll feel more comfortable at home, and, as a result, more confident and sexy.
—Irene, sex columnist

Kindly note that name could be a coincidence.We therefore apologize for any inconveniences this might cause.

Have a COLLABIC sunday and a WICKED week in bed ahead....winked.

Yours' Lovingly,

The BISHOP

 

HAVE YOU TRIED?....MAKING LOVE IN PUBLIC?...SEE THIS!

Having sex in public is freaking hot. Of course, there's always the risk of getting caught like a couple recently did in TBS at the Lagos Carnival (mortifying much?). That's why we came up with these risque moves—they're seriously sexy, with a low chance of getting caught. 

The Hood of Your Car

There's something about a chick on a car that really gets guys going. Drive somewhere secluded, pull over, and surprise him with hood sex. Hey, even if you're just in your garage, it's still hot.  

Against the Window

Rent a hotel room on a high floor with great views and have your guy pin you up against the windows. And if you haven't seen that, trust us—it's worth it.

 

 

At a Party

Sneak your guy into a closet or bathroom the next time you're at a friend's shindig and go for the gold. Hearing the voices of the other guests will give you both a huge adrenaline rush.

In Your Backyard

Fall is a great time of year to get it on outdoors. Pitch a tent and create a campground in your own backyard. Leave all connection to the outside world locked up in the house and get wild in your make-believe wilderness.

A Single-Stall Restroom

Go to a hotel bar that has a private bathroom, rather than one with a line of stalls. Warm him up by whispering dirty things into his ear, then stealthily lead him to the restroom—and make it speedy. Cocktail followed by a quickie? Yes, please

Your Bedroom

Want zero chance you'll get caught with the racy feeling of public sex? Transform your room into a naughty playhouse by positioning a mirror or two next to your bed. It'll feel like you're doing something wrong without getting caught. Plus, guys are very visually stimulated so being able to watch the action is a huge turn on.

A Home Gym

Ditto with this move: If your guy has gym equipment at home, sweat it out together (just make sure his roomies aren't around). An exercise bench has just the right amount of cushion and is perfect for a girl-on-top romp. Have him lie on his back, mount him, and use your legs to move up and down.  You can move up against a window if you want an even bigger thrill. He'll never be able to get through a workout again without thinking about all the dirty things you did there. 

Yours' Lovingly

The BISHOP

BLISS!...BEST new SEX...POSITIONS!

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Turning the Helm

While in the missionary position have him move up on his knees while he continues to thrust. Once he’s upright, he’ll pick up on one of your legs with one hand and then move it to the other, as if he’s turning the helm of a ship, until your on your side. For there he can maneuver you onto all fours. The beauty of this move is that it maintains fluidity during position transitions, and keeps you and your partner intimately connected. 

 

The Greyhound

Lay on the bed on your stomach with your legs spread out. Have him kneel between your legs and lift you by the hips until he’s able to enter you, keeping as much of your body on the bed as possible. In essence, your entire body is being stretched out for him and the elongated angel will tighten your vagina, proving a very snug fit. For add spice, try the Rocket Greyhound by adding a small vibrator to the mix.

The Sling

Stand and face each other, then slowly lift one leg until he can slide his arm underneath it to hold it in the air. He can raise or lower his arm to make this position as comfortable and pleasurable as possible for you. If you happen to be very flexible, he can raise you leg high, possibly to his shoulder, creating a very open pose. This position gives both of you the opportunity to stoke each other for a little extra stimulation.

The Wide Angle

Have him kneel in front of you then slowly sit on him, locking you’re legs around his back. Once he’s in position, lean back. He can support you by warping one of his arms around you, with the other he can stimulate you clitoraly. This position gives you more control of rhythm and speed than missionary and t gives him a great view of your breasts—a win-win for everyon

The Wheelbarrow

This an advanced position that works best when your already in the Marionette or Greyhound position. After he’s entered you from behind with his hands on your waist, have him life one of your legs—or both—and rest your hand or forearms on the floor. The Wheelbarrow is incredibly erotic as allows him you see all of you at once, but can be exhausting. We recommend only holding the position for a few, or the final few, thrusts.

 

Yours' LOVINGLY

THE BISHOP

WOMEN'S CONFESSIONS!.....4 Must-Try Sex Positions.

You on top? Him on top? On the floor? Outside? We asked women to give us the down and dirty about what gets them going every time. Here, four positively orgasmic sex positions to steal.

EVELYN, 26, EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
FAVORITE POSITION: We’re standing. I face my boyfriend and wrap my legs around his torso. He puts his hands beneath my butt and lifts me up and down while thrusting into me. I call it “The Claw.”

WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: I’m a very independent woman, but I occasionally love being dominated. My partner is in total control here—I don’t have to do a thing! It may be a physically demanding position for him, but it makes me feel virtually weightless— and totally orgasmic.

FUN PROP: The Claw is even more fun when you’re greased up, so slick yourselves down with Johnson’s Baby Oil Gel beforehand. But practice it dry a few times first so you don’t get hurt!

CHOIMA, 28, NURSE’S ASSISTANT/ NANNY
FAVORITE POSITION: I lie on my back with my legs over my boyfriend’s shoulders. He leans forward with his chest resting on the backs of my thighs and plunges in and out of me. I tend to make a lot of noise, so we refer to it as “The Scream Machine.”

WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: It allows for deeper penetration than almost any other position—and definitely leads to the most intense orgasms.

FUN PROPS: Strawberries, whipped cream, and champagne make for unbelievable foreplay. I suggest a hands-off policy while we eat, which my guy usually agrees to at first. But as he watches me sip champagne and pop creamcovered strawberries into my mouth, he goes crazy. By the time the last strawberry is gone, so are our clothes!

BUKKY, 28, ACCOUNTANT
FAVORITE POSITION: I’m flat on my back. He slides on top of me and—OK, I admit it! The position that always does it for me is missionary!

WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: It may seem like a tame choice for most women, but I just love looking into a guy’s eyes while we’re having sex. And it’s not like I just lie there—I love to grab his butt and draw him as deeply as I can inside of me so that I can feel every inch of him. I never get bored of climaxing like this. But men, be warned: If your mouth isn’t all over my lips and neck, you’re wasting my time!

FUN PROP: Try a little fresh air! When I was a teenager, I got it on with a guy on a rooftop in our neighborhood. I was so naive—I didn’t think anyone would see us up there. But the news got back to my mother, and all hell broke loose. Still, it’s a sexy thing to think back on...and I still love doing it outside.

ZAINAB, 26, ADMINISTRATIVE COORDINATOR
FAVORITE POSITION: My fiancé, Allen, and I kneel on the floor with a couch or bed in front of us to brace ourselves. He’s behind me, and I spread my legs a little wider than his for balance. He penetrates me from behind. I nicknamed this “The Reverse Allen,” because it’s a variation on another amazing position he came up with. He’s very creative!

WHAT MAKES IT SO HOT: It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth, because it pushes my chest out and pulls my stomach in so my body looks fantastic. And there are endless variations. During one recent quickie, I led Allen’s hand to my hair so he could tug on it. It was such a huge turn-on that I climaxed within seconds.

FUN PROPS: I love sliding on stockings and sky-high heels before sex. Nothing looks hotter than when I’m wearing only these.

UPGRADE THE CLASSICS

The Kama Sutra contains dozens of positions, but most of us stick to a few basics of The Hot Sex Handbook. Here,the BISHOP shares top sex tips for making the same-old deed anything but:

MISSIONARY
Place a pillow underneath your butt. Instead of simply lying back as he thrusts in and out of you, sit up halfway, lift your butt, and then slowly lean backward. Repeat until one of you climaxes.

WOMAN ON TOP
Move your body in small circles as you lift and lower your pelvis. Have him sit up, with his legs straight out in front of him. Lower yourself onto his penis and sit with your knees bent, facing him, with your feet flat on the floor.

DOGGIE STYLE
Rather than kneel, lie facedown on the bed, with your legs spread. He lies on your back and penetrates you from behind. Try having him stand behind you while you gradually—and carefully!—lean forward until your hands touch the floor.

SIDE-BY-SIDE
Grind your body against his penis, bending from the waist and moving your upper torso downward. Reach around to fondle him while he’s moving in and out of you.

Yours' Lovingly

The BISHOP

10 SEX POSITIONS...YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE TRIED!

The School House Rock

First find a chair with a sturdy back, have him sit facing forward. Straddle him with your feet on the floor, slowly lowering yourself onto his erection with your knees bent at a ninety-degree angle. Once he’s fully penetrated you, begin to slowly rock back and forth.

Stand and Deliver

He remains standing and lifts you up so that you can wrap your legs around his waist. From there he’ll cup your buttock and slowly move to enter you, controlling the depth of penetration. For balance, have him stand near a bed or a wall. This position is great for women who like it when their partners are in control—and have some serious upper body strength. 

The Lazy Twizzler

This position is best for sleepy morning sex. Start off in spooning position, then slide one leg forward in front of you giving him access to your girly parts. He’ll maneuver his top leg between yours until you’re legs are open enough for him to penetrate you. This position allows deeper penetration and requires very little effort from either of you. 

The Sexy Marionette

Stand facing a wall, as if you’re about to be strip-searched, placing both hands slightly above your head. Then slowly slide down the wall, falling forward from the waist—like a marionette with slack strings. He’ll keep you steady by holding your hips firmly, as he thrusts from behind. This position requires a little stamina and flexibility, but it well worth the effort.

The Mirror Image

Straddle his lap, facing him. Once he’s inside you, have him sit up so you’re face-to-face. Then, wrap your legs around each other’s backs and link your elbows under each other’s knees, crating a mirror image of each other. Hold on to each other tightly as roll back and forth. This position allows the two of you to be completely wrapped up in one another, stimulating all your body parts at once, and his!

Yours lovingly

The BISHOP

FOR WOMEN ONLY!...How to get a NIGERIAN man to MARRY YOU.

Getting a Nigerian man to marry you is the easiest thing in the world. This is your chance to stop being single and get a-mingling. These easy steps will get you married, bedded, bare foot and pregnant in less than a year, guaranteed or your money back.

– Be very religious. Nigerian men loveeeee them some religious girls. you don’t actually have to be, you just have to pretend that you are. talk about the night vigils you go to every now and then. slip in some Bible passages in random conversations even when they don’t fit in. Give him a Bible for his birthday. call him randomly for “morning prayers”. a nigerian man will marry a woman who appears to be religious. fake it till you get that ring baby girl.

– Pretend to be maternal. Pretend that you love children so much. especially other people’s children. coo at them at grocery stores, malls, lounges, planes. talk about how much you love children. carry his friends’ kids all day long. offer to help feed them. it doesn’t matter that you don’t love other people’s kids and think that children can be such dicks from a very early age, it should not matter. pretend girl. you’re auditioning to be his baby popper, act like one.

– Don’t ever mention that you’re a “feminist”. femi-gini? that shit don’t live here miss. Fuck women rights. accept all traditional roles even when you’re dating. when you are dating him, make sure his food is ready as soon as he walks through that door bitch. it doesn’t matter that you’re in school or you are also working like him, shit like that don’t matter. you have to show your man that you can put your back into it and be that super woman who will clean, cook, pop your back in bed and still pop out those kids.

– You gats deny all them man them. Have you ever had sex? made out with someone? ummm…you don’t have to tell your nigerian man that. when you’re asked your body count is 1 or 2, never more than 3 though cos you’re already side stepping into whoredom. never mind that your nigerian man’s count is like  54, who cares? he’s only out there fucking everything in skirt so that he can impress you in bed. all of what he does is for you, you ingrate!! he’s out there putting his penis in everything in other to come home and please you in bed and you have the guts to say you have a body count of more than 3? if any man claims he has slept with you, cry and swear that you know no such man. refer to rule number 1, start quoting Bible passages about how your enemies are chasing you and shit.
that whole subtracting 7 from your body count is bullshit. you only have 3 choices: 1, 2, or 3. other than that, you might as well just remain single.

– A nigerian man has needs that only you can’t meet. you have to give him some penis room. why are you being selfish? let men be men. let them have wings to fly. don’t be asking him why he came home late. you smell perfume on him? be happy that some girl is keeping him moisturized and smelling all good. that’s one thing you don’t have to do today. Let them have some fun girl, you just want that ring on your finger don’t you? relax. that diamond that you can instagram with well manicured fingers is coming.

– Last but not least, cook up a storm!!! your man should not be going hungry. cater to his food palette girl!! if you don’t cook for him some other girl will cook for him and steal him away. cook him new delicacies all day, find out how his mother used to do it, cook for his friends too. why do you want to eat in restaurant? bitch please use that money and take your arse to the grocery store and make that man some food. let him save that money he would have used to take you out on your ring darling. be wise. a stitch in time saves nine.
This is my good deed for the day. Let him who have ears, listen or something like that.
love always

The BISHOP

TONTO DIKE... Stars In Another X-Rated Movie, Goes Unclothed

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 Controversial actress, Tonto Charity Dike is at it again!! She is unclad in a new movie titled “Strippers in Love”. She had earlier starred in the soft P0*n movie, “Dirty Secrets”.

The movie is produced by Divine Touch Productions. Scenes from the movie show Tonto kissing another female and x-rated scenes with another actor.

 One can only help but wonder what Nollywood is turning into!

My guess remains as good as yours.
Best  regards
The BISHOP