FOR WOMEN ONLY!..Are You Messing Up Your Own Relationship?

 

Nitpicking

"This happens when women can't stop comparing their real-life relationship to the Perfect Boyfriend they have in their head," the Bishop says. "No real man is likely to compare to the perfect specimen of your fantasies and continuing to compare the real thing to an exacting wish list is only going to keep you from appreciating the love you have." 

 

 

Testing His Breaking Point

Mr. Nice Guy may not be so nice once you insult his mother, get drunk around his colleagues, consistently value your time over his, or whatever else you do to see if that is, in fact, his breaking point. That's the thing about tests: Sometimes you fail them.

Talking Too Much S***
About Him

"All girls vent about their relationship sometimes, but a girl who consciously bad-mouths her boyfriend to her friends and then asks their opinion of him is practically begging the to tell her to break-up with him," says the Bishop. Save the chatter for the stuff that matters.

 

 

Crushing on Other Guys

It's the point in the relationship when you start to think: Has my co-worker always had such a cute butt? "This is a big one," says the Bishop. "You tell yourself you're bored and second-guess your feelings for your partner. Is it really boredom you're reacting to, or fear of missing out?"

Comparing Yourself to His Ex-Girlfriends

Try to harness your inner Nancy Drew —no matter how cute you look with a magnifying glass. "There's no reason to investigate too deeply into your boyfriend's past," says the Bishop. "Doing so will only set you off into a downward spiral of resentment and insecurity — and for what? He's with you now, isn't he?" Good point.

 

Asking For Too Much Too Soon

He doesn't want to meet your parents after dating for a month? Don't make him. "You want to be in a serious, committed relationship but the best way to do that is to take things slowly at the beginning and build a strong foundation for a partnership," explains the Bishop. "Don't rush into the good stuff, especially if you pick up on any signals that he's not ready or doing something only to appease you. It will just cause bigger, more dire problems down the line — once you're already significantly more invested."

Unprovoked Jealousy

This seems like a no-brainer, but it's a tough one for many women to swallow, especially if they've had cheating or trust issues in the past. His best gal pal from childhood is probably not going to become anything more all of a sudden, nor is his friend's girlfriend or the apple of his eyes overnight. You need to show him that you trust him, so he can do the same.

Peeps from experience I have discovered that RELATIONSHIPS are built so also are HUMANS nurtured.

There is nothing like the PERFECT partner.It takes UNDERSTANDING,ENDURANCE and PERSEVERANCE.

The issue of LOVE is not for the LILLY LIVERED or the FAINT at HEART.

Best regards

The Bishop

TRIVIAL:-Roman Abramovich's teenage son Arkadiy agrees first oil deal

Roman Abramovich's teenage son Arkadiy agrees first oil deal

Arkadiy Abramovich, the eldest son of Chelsea FC owner Roman Abramovich, is proving himself a chip off the old block by pulling off his first oil deal in Russia. 

The 19-year-old, who has a controlling stake in Aim-listed cash-shell Zoltav, is using the company to snap up an oil field in Siberia in a $46m (£30.5m) deal. 

Zoltav, which is 45pc owned by Ambramovich junior’s ARA Capital investment vehicle, is buying CenGeo Holdings for $26m, issuing new shares in a reverse takeover. 

CenGeo owns the Koltogor oil discovery in Western Siberia, which is yet to be developed. The Koltogor licence sits in one of Russia's most prolific oil producing regions and is close to a number of major producing fields, including Samotlor, Russia's largest.

Under the deal announced on Wednesday, ARA has also pledged to invest $20m in return for new shares.

The move comes eight years after Abramovich senior sold his majority stake in Sibneft, netting $13bn. 

Zoltav said that the acquisition will mark its transition from an investing company into an operational exploration and production business. 

Commenting on the proposed deal, Zoltav chairman Symon Drake-Brockman, said: "This is an excellent first acquisition for Zoltav and will allow the Company to build an operational management team for future acquisitions in the sector.

"We believe the acquisition represents extremely good value for shareholders and delivers a sizeable appraisal asset with near-term production potential." 

Best regards

The Bishop

10 Things That Lead to Sex

Guys think they're so slick when they try to put the moves on us. But usually, their lame attempts to get us into bed leave us cracking up.We had to hear the best lines you've gotten. We're still LOLing over these..winked..check out this 10 saying..

1."Would you like a back rub?"...Yomex..Gbagada

2."Let's just go lay on my bed...Linda...Surulere

3. "Sure, I can help you with your resume and applications while we eat takeout." —Sarah...Ikoyi

4."It's kind of hot in here [takes off his shirt]."...Nkem..Enugu

5."Want to watch a movie at my place?" —Rubi D..V/Island


6."Just give me one kiss." —Ellen..1004 Apartment

7."Let's have dessert at my place."..Amina..Yaba

8."Want to help me study later?" ..Tope..Unilag

9."Yeah, you're right. We probably shouldn't have sex." —Dominique..Festac

10."I just want to hold you."...Ike..Iyana Ipaja

Kindly note that we at the SINNERS CHAPEL regret any coincidence with name and locations.

Have a blessed weekend ahead

Best regards

The BISHOP

8 New Places to Have Great Sex

Chances are, you've had your fair share of out-of-bedroom experiences — booty in the bathtub, getting it on in your car. But in the name of erotic exploration, Cosmo has come up with lusty locales you may have yet to discover. "Incorporating a new venue into your routine can stimulate your sex life and keep it exciting," say the Bishop. So add these original hot spots to your places "to do it" list.... Just make sure no one's looking..winked..happy reading

 1. A golf course: When on the green, take a time-out for a, er, hole in one. Explore the outskirts of the course for a thunderstorm shelter. These shed like structures are usually placed in remote areas and, unless it starts to pour, no one's going near them. You may also want to sport a cute little golf skirt to allow for easy access.

2. In front of the fridge: Kitchen carnal action may be nothing new to you, but the icebox might be uncharted territory. Open the door to the refrigerator and have your man sit on the floor with his back against the cool shelves. Then straddle him. Not only will the cold air give you both a thrill (you'll surely perk up!), but you can also incorporate food into your frisky play. 

3. In the Elevator: Turn an ordinary day after work when the office is less busy into an erotic excursion.Get in the elevator with your boo, pull the stop button and get to BLISS.Once there, get into DOGGIE or SPREAD EAGLE position would be best.. — which allows you both to comfortable.WARNING...make sure the elevator does not have CCTV...winked


4. The hood of your car: You can put a new spin on this classic hookup spot by getting out of the backseat. Spread a blanket on the hood and have an old-school romp under the stars.

5. A farmer's field: Take a little inspiration from sheer adventure and have sex in the tall grass you see by the side of the road when you're cruising with your boo in the country,village or locality. You'll be hidden while you enjoy a roll in the hay. 

6. A sleeping compartment on a train: If you've ever wanted to make out in a moving vehicle, a train is the way to go. You'll have to pay a little extra to get your own berth, but you can use the private area as your exclusive passion playground. All aboard!

7. On a hike: To get it on in the great outdoors without having to lie down in the dirt, search for a big boulder you can hide behind so you're not visible from the trail. With your back against the rock and your legs wrapped around your man's waist, you can enjoy standup nooky as well as the scenery.

8. An exercise bench: If your guy has a home gym, use it to work up a sweat. The bench is the right balance of firm and soft, plus it puts you in perfect alignment for girl-on-top sex. Have him lie down, then lower yourself on top of him, using your legs to move up and down. 

Have a TRIAL of these places....as VARIETY is the spice of life....and you can also IMPROVISE with places like...your office store room,under the stair case etc.

Best regards

Yours' Ever

The BISHOP

10 Signs He Wants to Marry You...PART 1.

We don't blame you for wondering when you're going to walk down the aisle. Luckily, we got our experts to reveal the secret hints that he's ready to go ring shopping....this are signs that you boo is thinking and planning to take your relationship...STEPS further...happy reading,

1.He Says Things Like "You're The Only One Who..."

When a man makes it clear how special you are (obviously), by saying you're the only woman who's ever done fill-in-the-blank for him or made him feel this way, he's on his way to don the tux.

2.You're Invited To His Family Events

If he imagines you having a lead role in the big picture, he will include you in family holidays and bring you as his plus one to other special events. He wouldn't want his family and friends to get close to you if he didn't want you to stick around for the long haul.

3.He Considers You Part of His Team

Because a guy's career is a main part of his identity, confiding in you about work problems or crediting you for work successes means that he values you as an equal. Ditto for referring to you as a proud member of his "team." That means you're in life partner territory.

4.He Has Married Friends

Does he roll his eyes at every wedding invitation he gets? Or moan about another double date with your married friends? This could be a giveaway that he's not ready...yet. But if most of a guy's network of friends is married already, he's going to start feeling like the odd man out and be more comfortable taking the leap himself.

5.He Increases His Touch

Once he decides you're going to be his future Mrs., expect him to be way more touchy-feely, almost like when you first started dating. He might massage your neck when you're working or touch your arm while you're cooking.

 

Hey peeps...hope you had learnt one or two things from the write up...watch out for part two...winked..

 

regards

 

Yours' Ever

 

The BISHOP

5 Simple Ways to Make Your Sex Life Sexier...

You’re probably getting tired of just taking it to la cama every time you want to get frisky. The fact is that sex can get boring after a while (believe it or not) if you make it a routine. Nothing turns a guy on more than a girl who knows how to seduce him in the smallest ways.

Give him a visual he won’t forget
Your curves and lady parts aren’t on your cuerpo for nothing. Men love to see a woman in lingerie. Rock a simple number like this one and we promise he won’t be able to keep his hands off you! Tip: Wear red—Latinas own this color and studies show men prefer it.

Take control
We are classy mujeres in public, but there’s no shame in being la loca behind closed doors with your boo. Switch it up: You take control. Try a position like woman on top. Not only is it more beneficial for us (it helps us reach an orgasm faster), but it’s also been rated one of men’s favorite sex positions.

Get out of the cama
News flash: The bedroom isn’t the only place to get busy at. Take him to the sala and do it on the couch or the kitchen table. If you want to stay in your room, try a standing up position pressed with your back against the wall.

Tease him
Get him ready and build up the anticipation by sending him a naughty text while he’s out or at work. Whether you’re dating a Latino or not, we have the benefit of speaking one of the sexiest languages on the planet. Tell him how much you want him and how you’ll be waiting for him all night. Adding a simple “te quiero papi” or “te deseo papi” will have him zooming through traffic to get to you.

Add a toy
It might sound a little out there, but an issue we have is not climaxing together during sex. Adding something that isn’t too invasive (we’re not talking sex-swings or handcuffs), like Durex’s Ring of Bliss (which is meant to help you reach the O together), can spice up any night.

Have a fruitful and steamy week ahead

Best regards

Yours' Ever

The BISHOP

7 things guys are afraid of… IN BED!

Here we are thinking that only women have a ton of issues that prevent them from loving their bodies. While that very well may be true, men have just as many hang ups when it comes to themselves and sex. Though most men hide it well, it’s a guarantee that most of them have one or more of these fears running through their mind when they’re in the act.
#1: Size
Though someone made up some phrase about ocean motions, and vessel sizes not mattering, there’s a good argument for the opposition. While most men have nothing to worry about, and they’re partners are sufficiently pleased they can’t help but comparing themselves to the tried and true beside manual. Porn. Like many other elements of pornography, size is unrealistic. Do yourself a favor guys, put the measuring tape down. You’re just fine the way you are!

#2: Body issues
Both men and women can agree on the fact that who we fantasize about and who we actually date differ. Many times because women are fantasizing about the cast of True Blood and men are flipping through Sport Illustrated for images of feminine perfection. Men worry about their bodies just as much as women do during the act. Except they wonder about a solid six pack and muscular shoulders.

#3: Sweat
Lots of fluids can cause embarrassment during sex, but sweat is one that guys think of more than others. Some men sweat more than others, and they usually sweat more than their female partners. Many men worry about soaking the sheets and their partners while their in the midst of coital bliss.

#4: Bodily Odors
There are tons of studies suggesting that pheromones, or the scents that you secret that are only detectable by the opposite sex are great for sexual attraction. There are also studies that suggest women love the way their man smells after the gym. Nonetheless guys worry about how they smell all over, all of the time.

#5: Duration
This is a big one. Guys will think of almost anything to avoid finishing too quickly. It’s a huge concern because men associate lasting longer with virility and masculinity. And while most women think that it’s cute that they turned someone on enough to have a quick session; who wants to be described as cute when it comes to sex?

#6: Bad Lovin’
Though most men like to think of themselves as a horizontal Casanova, there are many that worry about their technique. Jack hammering your partner or super sloppy kisses are a turn off. Though someone would hope to be corrected many men fear their partners are telling them things are great, and telling their friends otherwise.

#7: Pleasure factor
Besides worrying about being a bad lover, many men are concerned with being a great lover. Though many people have had bad experiences with selfish partners, many are quick to tout the ones whose primary concern was their pleasure. In most cases, men are concerned as to whether or not their partner is getting off.

Yours' Ever

The BISHOP

Did you know?..that Sex Can Make You More Beautiful!

Put more sex in your life: It slows aging. A Scottish study found that thrice-weekly action stripped at least four years off participants' faces, and getting busy even boosts immunity and reduces heart disease. There are beauty bonuses, too — sex perks up your appearance instantaneously. Just remember to do it safely.

WRITE OFF WRINKLES:- Stress hormones and antistress hormones are like a seesaw in your body, and sex — specifically orgasm — gives that seesaw a giant push in the right direction thanks to a trifecta of hormones: beta-endorphin, an opiate and painkiller; prolactin, a relaxation inducer; and oxytocin, which makes you want to cuddle. Endorphins and growth hormones flood the body after orgasm, healing damage from the sun, smoking, and cortisol, which destroy collagen and create wrinkles. In a fun few minutes, sex wipes out the inflammatory molecules that age skin.

SOFTEN SKIN:- Think of how you look right after sex: dewy cheeks, pink lips, and shining eyes. The bright-eyed look lasts for days, as does sex's other skin-friendly side effect: When you sweat, natural oils, like linoleic acid — a moisturizer also found in safflower and olive oil — are released, lubricating cells and hydrating skin.

LOOK ALIVE:- Sleep is free cosmetic medicine, and sex is an amazing sleep inducer. Those feel-good chemicals linger after orgasm, helping you fall asleep more quickly. Post-sex sleep is restorative, so you'll wake up refreshed, with reduced under-eye circles and puffiness. Adding sex to your bedtime routine can also help resolve sleep issues.

FEEL THE BURN:- Even without a climax, sex and kissing work wonders: heart rate and circulation increase, and blood floods your organs and skin. Deep breathing controls stress and sends oxygen throughout your system. Sex burns about as many calories as the same amount of time spent weight training or walking; even a measly smooch stimulates 30 facial muscles. You burn eight to 12 calories per minute of kissing (more than you burn in a minute of walking). That exercise improves everything from cholesterol levels to mood — without your going anywhere near a Spin class.

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT:- Orgasm is key to attaining sex's benefits. If you don't have one, you release fewer good-for-you hormones. Single or celibate? Masturbate or exercise — a half hour of vigorous walking, jogging, or weight lifting triggers healing endorphins. A quick downward-dog stretch brings blood from your core to your head for that flushed, pink-cheeked look. Or go the makeup route. Blush is key, and so is moisturizer, mascara, and lip gloss. But nothing beats the

So what are you waiting for?....BLAZE ON!..peeps..winked.

Best regards

The BISHOP

FOR MEN AND WOMEN!.. How to Handle a BREAK UP Like an ADULT

We know it's a little crazy, but it hurts our hearts when cute couples call it quits. But perhaps we civilians can learn few lessons from these piece on how to break up—and move on… 

Keep Mum on the Dirty Details

Sincerely you don't  have  to even comment about your breakup (the news came from those mysterious "sources" and them say!), which is a lot classier than spilling your PAINS via Twitter,Facebook or in the midst of your friends,aproko's and croonies. No need to give the world a lengthy explanation of what happened when you split from a guy—that's your business and your business only.

Make a PC Joint Statement

It might be hard to resist telling your respective circles of friends what happened between you two. So, take a cue;both of you can jointly announced you had "grown apart" after a year of dating. (To the surprise of no one, we might add.) Planning a neutral, agreed-upon statement shows that you're mature and not out to hurt the other person—which, trust us, would only make you feel totally crappy later anyway.

Talk Up Your Ex

Say what you will about your EX,even though the rumor is that he cheated on you,physical abused you(turned you to a punching bag) and all the worst thing he might have done to you.., ALWAYS try coming off like a perfect gentleman or woman by calling your EX great and using kind word to express your time together.." Kill your ex with kindness when people ask you about him or her.

Look Hot

After you and your BEAU calls it quits, you have to pull yourself together and get majorly glam when you hit town or occasions cos you may never know whom you might bump into..winked..(ur EX). Looking gorg post-breakup isn't so much about getting revenge as it is making yourself feel good.

Be Cool If You Run Into Each Other

My best friend and his fiancee broke up eons ago, but whenever they run into each other at occasions or place, they're all too eager to hug it out. At some point, it's important to let go of the negative emotions associated with a breakup and just move on. Which includes, you know, not totally HATING your ex.

Actually Be Friends

After the break up,the best way to DUST off the hurt is to be a friend to your EX,

this way the ILL FEELING of your break up can be AIRED.This leaves you refreshed,believe me 

it does.

Have a good evening

Best regards

The BISHOP

 

NOT MARRIED YET?..The Biggest Liar In Your Relationship: You?

If you're like me, you're a perpetual member of the TRUTH ZONE..I will liken you to being considered a homie instead of a honey, that I'm slightly convinced I'll never escape to girlfriend territory...until now.

I recently read Why You're Not Married...Yet and felt like the author Tracy McMillan was an older sister smacking me in the face with some cold-hearted truth. Damn, that hurt.

The book, now in paperback, is all about you and makes you look at yourself to take responsibility for the love you deserve. The You're a Liar chapter really hit home with me. (No, I'm not some compulsive liar. That would make me cray cray and I'd need to re-read her chapter, You're Crazy.) Tracy drives home a big idea: Stop lying to yourself—and men—about the kind of relationship you really want.

I felt like I got a good ass-whooping from Tracy in this bit right here:

"News flash: friends are when you don't want to have sex with someone. If you want to have sex with someone—even if it's not that much—you aren't just friends."

Shit. I've been there one too many times. I'm a firm believer that great relationships can come out of friendships. But being just friends with an awesome dude you want to makeout with—hoping it'll turn into something more—is torture. You're not being true to yourself about your desires and that's not fair to you emotionally.

Instead, my big sis Tracy says, we need to be brutally honest with ourselves about what we want—and what we don't want. If the way he treats you (like, constantly forgetting plans) drives you crazy, you need to address this in a nice manner immediately and watch for him to either change his ways or see him disappear from your life. And if the latter happens, he wasn't someone you wanted to date in the first place.

What do you think about remaining friends with someone you're really into?

A word is ENOUGH for the WISE!

Best regards

The BISHOP

NEW POPE'S ELECTION...Cardinals head to conclave to elect head of a church

VATICAN CITY  - Roman Catholic cardinals gather under the gaze of Michelangelo's "Last Judgment" on Tuesday to elect a new pope to tackle the daunting problems facing the 1.2-billion-member Church at one of the most difficult periods in its history.

The 115 cardinal electors aged under 80 began moving early on Tuesday into the Vatican's Santa Martha hotel, where they will live during the conclave, which starts in the afternoon.

Under an early morning drizzle and to the applause and waves of seminarians, eight of the 11 American cardinal electors left the North American College seminary in a minibus bound for the Vatican to join the other three who already live in Rome.

All cardinals, including those over 80, were due to celebrate a morning Mass in St. Peter's Basilica to pray for guidance in their choice of the man to succeed Pope Benedict, who abdicated last month saying he was not strong enough to confront the Church's woes.

The cardinal electors have drawn lots for the rooms and suites in Santa Martha, a modern residence which is being used only for the second time to house conclave participants. The first time was in 2005.

The secret conclave, steeped in ritual and prayer, could carry on for several days, with no clear favorite in sight.

In a process dating back to medieval times, the "Princes of the Church" from 48 countries will shut themselves in the Vatican's frescoed Sistine Chapel.

They will emerge from their seclusion only when they have chosen the 266th pontiff in the 2,000-year-history of the Church, which is beset by sex abuse scandals, bureaucratic infighting, financial difficulties and the rise of secularism.

"We are ready to enter the conclave and it will be longer than the last one," South African Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier told reporters on Monday, referring to the 2005 election of Benedict, that was wrapped up in 24 hours after four ballots.

"It will last a few days. Maybe four or five," he predicted.
The average length of the last nine conclaves was just over three days and none went on for more than five days.

 

Vatican insiders say Italy's Angelo Scola and Brazil's Odilo Scherer have emerged as the men to beat. The former would bring the papacy back to Italy for the first time in 35 years, while the latter would be the first non-European pope in 1,300 years.

However, a host of other candidates from numerous nations have also been mentioned, including U.S. cardinals Timothy Dolan and Sean O'Malley, Canada's Marc Ouellet and Argentina's Leonardo Sandri.

CONSERVATISM AHEAD

All the red-hatted prelates who will be secluded in the Sistine Chapel were appointed by either Benedict or his predecessor John Paul, and the next pontiff will almost certainly pursue their fierce defense of traditional moral teachings.

But Benedict and John Paul were criticized for failing to reform Vatican bureaucracy, battered by allegations of intrigue and incompetence, and some churchmen believe the next pope must be a good manager or put a good management team in place.

Vatican insiders say Scola, who has managed two big Italian dioceses, might be best placed to understand the Byzantine politics of the Vatican administration - of which he is not a part - and therefore be able to introduce swift reform.

The Curia faction, of cardinals working inside the Vatican bureaucracy, is said by the same insiders to back Scherer who worked in the Vatican's Congregation for Bishops for seven years before later leading Brazil's Sao Paolo diocese - the largest diocese in the biggest Catholic country.

With only 24 percent of Catholics living in Europe, pressure is growing within the Church to choose a pontiff from elsewhere in the world who would bring a different perspective.
Latin American cardinals might worry more about poverty and the rise of evangelical churches than questions of materialism and sexual abuse that dominate in the West, while the growth of Islam is a major concern for the Church in Africa and Asia.

The cardinals are expected to hold their first vote late on Tuesday afternoon - which is almost certain to be inconclusive - before retiring to the Vatican hotel for the night.
They hold four ballots a day from Wednesday until one man has won a two-thirds majority - or 77 votes. Black smoke from a makeshift chimney on the roof of the Sistine Chapel will signify no-one has been elected while white smoke and the pealing of St. Peter's bells will announce the arrival of a new pontiff.

As in medieval times, the cardinals will be banned from communicating with the outside world. The Vatican has also taken high-tech measures to ensure secrecy in the 21st century, including electronic jamming devices to prevent eavesdropping.

Regards

The BISHOP

SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!..7 Things (Real) Guys Want During Sex

We know what women want (one word: Gosling), but what is your man dying for during sex, but is too shy to communicate? We asked real men what they secretly want girls to do in the sack..and yours sincerely went to town to inquire of men what they really want during sex.

 

Suck It Up

"Easy. More BLOW JOBS....Efe..Festac

Be Nice

"This sounds really douchey, but compliments? Not cheesy ones like, 'You're so big!' but just, like, tell me I look hot." -Steve...Yaba

Get Your Groove On

"I guess it's weird to say 'get on top,' because the actual sex doesn't feel as good that way, but I really like watching my girlfriend put on a little show up there." -Big Joe....Ajah.

Make Some Noise

"Don't fake it, but soft moaning is really hot...Max..Surulere.

Say Anything

"Dirty talk makes plain old missionary kind of wild. I basically have the stamina of a teen boy when my girlfriend talks dirty." -Danny D...Ikeja.

Play Dress Up

"Leave some lingerie on during sex. On special occasions my girlfriend takes everything off except…what's that thing that holds stockings up? That, and thigh-high stockings and she looks like a Victoria's Secret model."..Timmy...Lekki Phase 1.

Be Game

"Be up for anything, within reason. Once I asked my girlfriend to get into this weird position and it didn't work at all, but it was sweet that she tried!" -Corper...Lagos Island

Best regards

Yours' Ever

The BISHOP

FOR WOMEN ONLY!..Best Facial Make up products

We've scrubbed, slathered, and slicked on hundreds of new beauty potions to bring you the best of the best.

Makeup

YVES SAINT LAURENT Rouge Pur Couture Glossy Stain in N°18 Rose Pastelle, N°15 Rose Vinyl, and N°8 Orange de Chine. Finally, the texture of a gloss in a pretty, long-lasting stain that intensifies with each layer.

LAURA MERCIER Tinted Moisturizer Crème Compact Broad Spectrum SPF 20 Sunscreen in Tan. The brand's most indispensable product now comes in a genius to-go form.

MAYBELLINE NEW YORK Eye Studio Color Tattoo 24HR Cream Gel Shadows in Too Cool, Audacious Asphalt, and Bad to the Bronze. We're totally feeling all 15 chic colors plus their serious staying power.

COVERGIRL LashBlast Clump Crusher Mascara in Black. Hyper-thick lashes plus a no-clump formula mean this wand performs with a high batting average.

MAC Prep + Prime BB Beauty Balm SPF 35 in Light. It's easy to cover all your bases with this creamy skin-fixing primer (bonus points for its hefty sun protection).

STÉE LAUDER Pure Color Blush in Electric Pink Satin. Makeup genius Tom Pecheux helped create this complexion-warming blend with crystal-coated pigments that stays put all day.

Ways to REV UP ur SEX LIFE!... Burlesque it!

Burlesque is all about the art of the striptease, but it isn't just for men. "It's more about a woman getting herself in the mood,". My humble self the Bishop decided to dish on ways to add burlesque elements to your sex life.

Get in the Groove

Before you get down to business, "find that song that makes you feel sexy and spend some time dancing to it," Peekaboo says. "Losing yourself in the moment of dancing can be every bit as sensual as a striptease."

See Red

Mood lighting is key for DeeDee, who's a fan of turning down the lights, or swapping in red-tinted bulbs: "Red is such a warm and sexy color. It's a turn-on for everyone."

Suit Up

Burlesque is all about sparkling costumes, so adapt some sexiness at home. Ask yourself what you feel most sexy and confident in, and put that on! Burlesque dancers suggest lingerie, knee-high tights, corsets, or DeeDee's personal favorite: heels to leave on during the deed. Insider tip: Layer up with gloves or a cami over a bra, so you have something to strip off...

 Just the Nip

For a bold burlesque beginner, dare to wear a staple of the art form: nipple tassels. The easiest way to get them spinning? "Put your arms in the air and bounce on your toes," Peekaboo says. (Even if this leads to hilarity, she says: "Laughter is a turn-on.")

 Eye Love Burlesque

Peekaboo always makes eye contact with her audience; so we suggests the same with your partner: "At first it can be intimidating, but it makes it so much more powerful when it happens."

 

 Take a Walk

Whether you choose to strip or not, break into burlesque with a slow, sensual walk toward your man. Walk with confidence, and let your hips rock, we at sinners chapel says.

 

 Look, Don't Touch

"Don’t let him touch you—at least for a little while," we at sinners chapel says. Sounds like the opposite of sex, but "letting him take in your body can be a powerful experience."

 

 Blind Love

Too shy to strip in front of him just yet? "Blindfold him, straddle him, and rub your body against his to give him a sense of what it's like to sit back and give you control," DeeDee suggests.

 Floor Him

Ready to take burlesque to the next level? Slide down on to your knees, arch your back into an almost-back bend and rock your hips up and down. Let him take it from there.

Hope you had a wonderful experience reading this...winked...

We at sinners chapel advice you to make do with all these therapies

Best regards

The BISHOP

The Virgin Diaries...WHEN..WHERE and HOW did you loose it...your VIRGINITY..

we asked you to reflect back on your last moments as a virgin. These stories feature the good, the bad, and the freaking hilarious.

Yours' sincerely went to town to find out what it was like at the last moment of being a VIRGIN...winked...enjoy reading..

1."I lost my virginity to a guy who, I later realized, was kind of an a-hole. He kept pressuring me to sleep with him and would pout when I wouldn't. He also loved to brag that he was really great in bed. Finally, I caved, mostly because I was curious to see how great he could really be. The night we agreed to have sex, we were fooling around and I told him I was ready. His response: "I'm already inside you." My friends and I still laugh about how his, uh, small size made for a great 'starter penis!'....Gbemi..Festac.

2."I was in secondary school and decided one day that I was done with being a virgin, so I went over to the house of this guy that I knew had a crush on me and was basically like, 'This is happening now.' living room making out led to living room floor sex—and then my brother picked me up from his house. We went to Mr. Biggs after—ha!"...Steph..Ikoyi.

3."In secondary school, my boyfriend and I were growing increasingly frustrated since we couldn't manage to find a spot anywhere in which we could really let loose on each other. One morning, we got a call that school was cancelled for the day. Once my parents left for work, I told my boyfriend to head over and nab a pack of condoms on the way. An hour later, he snuck in through the back door of my house—my grandma lived with us and her room was near the front door—and I ushered him up to my bedroom. We had steamy, passionate sex for two hours, bodies entwined, getting as loud as we wanted. (Thank God my grandma also happened to be hard of hearing.) It felt absolutely amazing....Linda..Lekki Phase 1.

4."I was 20 and it was with my first real boyfriend in the University about three months after we'd started dating. I was definitely going by the rule book because I waited until he told me he loved me. It all went down in his off campus apartment  and we pretty much scheduled it, like 'Okay, I think I'm ready. Maybe we can do it Thursday?' Real romantic."...Chioma...Gbagada.

5."When I decided I wanted to have sex with the guy I was dating as JAMBITE then, both he and my then-roommate were obsessed with wanting my first time to be perfect. He made a ridiculously cheesy mix of romantic music and my roommate decorated our room with these scented candles for romantic lighting and made arrangements to sleep at a friend's place. My boyfriend and I went on what was probably the quickest dinner date ever, then rushed back to the our off campus apartment to get down to business. It was so awkward because it was a pre-discussed, pre-planned, almost staged event that we were rushing to get to." ...Amina....Abuja.

6."I was 15 and had been dating my boyfriend for about six months. He lived with his single mom who was really liberal about us chilling in his room with the door closed. We were both virgins and had done almost everything but sex until we decided one day that we would go for it. I remember going to buy special lingerie, choosing something white and sheer. I guess I wanted it to seem pure and virginal, but in retrospect it was a terrible choice. At one point, the guy was actually like, "Oh, that's what you chose?" Anyway, once we tried it—and I have to say 'tried' because it just didn't work—he didn't fit in. Oops....Dolapo..P/harcourt.

7."I lost my virginity to my banker first boyfriend. We were at his friend's mom's house the xmas in my SS3 at secondary school and the whole thing couldn't have been more awkward. The event took place on the bottom bunk of his friend's bed. It was  made out of wood, with the top covered in random crap—definitely not where you generally imagine your first time. He had more experience than me, so that helped. Adding to the romance was the fact that his mom knocked on the door at various points. Even better? His friend's girlfriend, who was always trying to show me up, ran off to have sex with her boyfriend for the first time the very next day."....Irene..Benin.

8."My JAMBITE year of university, I was seeing this guy that I couldn't have been more crazy about. I'd been fantasizing about sleeping with him ever since he'd left his wallet in my room not long after we first met. (After light inspection, I discovered a Magnum XL condom. My roommate and I high-fived.) One night, we were fooling around and it suddenly dawned upon me that I was ready. I'd spent ages going back and forth with friends about the perfect song that would commemorate the moment, but when the time finally came, it was the...IRONICALLY...Deebie's song...COLLABO that was blaring out of RTHYM that provided the soundtrack. Nice." ....Patricia...Ilupeju.

Kindly note that the original names of the participant have been change.Kindly note that we at the sinners chapel regret any coincidence with name and location.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Best regards

Your's Collabo-ISH

The BISHOP

How to Make a woman CLIMAX..or COME!

The Race to the Vag

Most women need 30 to 60 minutes of clitoral stimulation to orgasm—and most women orgasm during oral sex. A few minutes of kissing/breast play won't cut it. Before they plunge into your holiest of holies, make sure you're warmed up.

Never Touch a Clitoris with a Dry Hand

When you get a massage, they rub your body with oil, right? Same goes for genitals. Repeated skin-on-skin contact = chafe city. Try different lubricants to increase the sensation.

It's Okay to Say What
You Want

It's your body and you know what you like best. Don't be afraid to give them direction ("Harder, faster, slower," etc.) If you want that raise, you have to ask for it...same goes for orgasms.

The Combination Orgasm

Combining clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration will increase the intensity of your orgasms. Don't be afraid to reach down and stimulate your own clitoris during sex. A confident woman who knows her body is the ultimate turn on.

Shattering the Slut Stigma

Keep in mind that shame and guilt will kill your orgasms. Whether or not sex is casual or in a relationship shouldn't affect how you feel about yourself. (Reminder: Ninety-five percent of adults have premarital sex.)

Connecting to Pleasure

It's important to stimulate your own body to orgasm on a regular basis. Pleasure can seem too intense when it's a new feeling. At the end of the day, it is all about you. So take care of yourself on the reg.

Have a freaky...sweaty....pleasurable and blessed weekend

Best regards

Yours' Estasic

The Bishop

FOR WOMEN ONLY!..Sexy Ways to Tease Him

we were all ears—WOMEN had to think of "inventive ways" to crank up the heat. Um…hell yeah. Want to turn your man on a la R-Patz? Experts say building a man's anticipation makes your bond crazy-tight...check out this tips.

1.While you're ordering dinner, caress up his leg as high as you can get away with. If you're feeling super-daring, lightly stroke his penis over his pants. 

2.People in crowded elevators usually look straight ahead, so sneakily grind your body against his or slide your palm over his butt while your unsuspecting co-riders watch the floors tick by.

3.If you're out together at a party or bar, send him either a scandalous text that hints at what you'd like to do to him later or, if you're a more shy sexter, a corny line like "Nice shirt — it'll look better on the floor." Just knowing you have booty on the brain will have him aching to get you alone.

4.Catch him off guard by wondering aloud about places you could get busy. Ask something like "Hmmm, do you think this countertop would be the right height for me to straddle you?" then wander off as if it were just a fleeting idea.

5. Men are aroused by visual stimuli, so a nonverbal come-on can make him hungry. Toy with him by bending slowly to pick up something in a short skirt or blow-drying your hair in jeans and a bra. Act like you don't know he's watching — it'll arouse the hell out of him.

6.When he has friends over, yell from another room that you need help with something. When he enters, give him a deep kiss and graze his package. Then halt the grope sesh, and make him return to his guests like a good boy.


7.As things get going, leave on one item of clothing. Pulling your thong aside for him to enter you torments him because he can't see every last inch of your body. It also creates gotta-have-you-now urgency that is just so hot.

8.Slowly head downtown with playful licks that start at his chest and move down his stomach. Trace your fingers up and down his torso as you kiss in circles around his groin and inner thighs — everywhere except his package — until he's begging you to take him into your mouth.

9. If you're on top during sex, stop the action, then crawl down his body until you're perched at the end of the bed. Give him a "Want it? Then come and get it!" grin. Then prepare to be pounced on. 

Have a STEAMY and BLISSFUL.... day ahead...winked.

Best regards

The BISHOP

FOR WOMEN ONLY!..How to Get Him to Step Up His Game In Bed

Men are way more satisfied with their sex lives than women are—and they're also totally cool with predictable sex, according to a (depressing) recent study. Perhaps they need some pointers on how to satisfy us? Certified sex expert the Bishop to the rescue. 

 

He Never Gives Oral

Have a playful—yet super honest—talk with your guy about receiving and giving. Tell him how much you enjoy giving him oral and how it turns you on to see the pleasure you can give him using only your mouth, then point out how much it turns you on to receive oral from him too. 

He's Too Rough During Foreplay

A man's sexual ego is super sensitive, so try to focus on what he's doing right (unless his moves are extreme and painful—then he needs to be told ASAP). Then, the next time you're in bed, whisper in his ear "Tonight, I want to take it nice and slow and enjoy every inch of each others bodies." 

He Doesn't Really "Do" Foreplay

Maybe your guy just needs a lesson about the female body: Explain to him that many women need an average of 20 minutes of foreplay to be physically ready for sex, that foreplay is a must for most women to orgasm, and a woman's G-Spot cannot even be found unless she is properly aroused first. You can also sprinkle in that more foreplay can help give him a stronger erection.... 

He Tells You He'll Get You Next Time

So…your guy gets there every time, but you only climax about 50 percent? Hell no. Express that you want to enjoy your sexual experiences with him every time as well. If your guy isn't moving the way you want, move your hips in a way that brings you pleasure. 

He's Too Self-Focused

If you feel like you're guy is only into himself in the sack, it could be because he's not sure what to do. Move his hand with your hand around your body and literally show him what you'd like him to do to you in bed, then be sure to respond sexually when it feels good, so he can see that you're into what he's doing.

He's Not Down to Experiment

The trick here is to help your guy be a bit more adventurous without making him sexually self-conscious. Have a playful conversation with him where you both list everything that you've done together that was super hot, then steer the convo to new things that you'd really like to try. Give your guy an opportunity to express what sounds sexy to him, too.

He Just Wants to Do the Same Position Every Time

Take charge by getting on top and enjoying the Cowgirl or the reverse Cowgirl position. Then, subtly move your body around to encourage your man to "keep up" as you shift into different positions. Refer to  Kama Sutra—and make a promise with your guy to incorporate a new one each time you're getting busy.

Women its your RIGHT to have it.....NICE...SLOW and GOOOOOOD!..winked..

Regards

The BISHOP

GET YOUR BED ROOM LIFE BACK!..Role Play Ideas You've Never Tried Before!

Role play keeps your sexual connection new and exciting…so if you keep acting out the same thing, that kinda defeats the purpose. Out of ideas? Check out these fresh new scenarios.

Watch a sexy movie together, then act out one of the steamiest scenes as the characters in the film. Already having the visual of who you want to become and what you're going to do to each other can increase the anticipation and ultimately your arousal. Silver Linings Playbook is a good bet that's out now, or rent Secretary for a kinkier option.

Make a Booty Call

If you're in a committed relationship, occasionally pretending you're casual f--- buddies lends sex an edgy feel. You can screw the romance and tenderness for now, and just get dirty.

Act Like a Princess

Between Once Upon a Time and movies like Snow White and the Huntsman, fairy tales are hot right now. They're also great role-play inspiration because they blend eroticism and danger: You're the virginal princess, and he's the prince charming trying to rescue you from the evil queen.

 

Unleash Your Wild Sides

This may sound wacky, but go at it like you're animals—for example, a lion and lioness out in the savannah. It can help you let loose of inhibitions and get ultra wicked between the sheets.

 

Go the Distance

There's truth to the phrase, "Absence makes the heart grow stronger." When there's an obstacle to reaching your sig other, it heightens erotic tension. So even if you live together, role play that you're in a long-distance relationship: Head to different rooms and have urgent Skype sex.

Be His Teenage Dream

Remember what it was like to feel giddy in love (or lust) when you were a teen? Pretend you're in high school again, and your man is your biggest crush. Do something nostalgic like go to the mall or a movie together, then when you get home, recreate that excited yet awkward experience of hooking up for the first time.

Have Superhuman Sex

Bring the superhero trend into the boudoir: Batman and Catwoman, enemies with a strong sexual tension; or Superman and Lois Lane, who's held hostage by the bad guy. The best part of this scenario is the costumes—go all out with a skin-tight catsuit, thick black eyeliner, or even a mask. When you look totally different than usual, you'll feel different too…and being able to escape the same-old, same-old is what makes role play so freaking naughty.

Winked...hope these are helpful

Regards

The BISHOP

 

 

5 Sex Noises You Should Be Making

According to a new study, people who make noise in bed typically have better sex. So, to encourage you to get noisier in the sack, we chatted with certified clinical sex experts to uncover the sounds that get your point across. Try these out next time you're getting busy…

1.The Low Moan

Without noise, there's no connection. So give your guy some verbal signals right when the action starts. A throaty moan is a good one for showing him that you're into what he's doing so far.

2.The Satisfied Whisper

The way a couple communicates during sex is typically a mirror to how they communicate in their relationship. Try to open up in bed as you would with your guy in non-sexual moments to get past any shyness you may feel about giving direction during sex. When you're really feeling it, lean over and whisper "that feels good" and "keep doing that" in his ear.

 

3.The Sexy Sigh

Maybe your guy hit the perfect spot, then moved on to something else—or a different position entirely. To get him to go back to what he was doing in a positive way, guide his hand, bod, or face to where he was and give him a sexy sigh to show you loved his previous moves.

4.The Happy Grunt

When you're almost there, show him by letting go of your inhibitions and grunting with the pace of your thrusts. By being noisy you'll come across as being more sexually confident. Which is a huge turn-on for him…and you.

5.The Big Finish

If you're not very vocal, it can be hard for a guy to know if you've had an orgasm. A lot of men actually have a tough time reading their partners during sex in general, so noise at the end at least conveys to your partner that you had a good time. Do whatever feels natural here, from a passionate "oooh yes" to a long, worn-out sigh.

Regards

The Bishop

FOR MEN ONLY!...What Women Want During Sex...winked.

What do girls crave in bed, but are too shy to ask? From Wild Rides to literal butt-kissing, some women give guys an idea of what women want during sex. Make some of these ideas your own—then forward to the guys in your life.

 

Take it Off

"I like a guy to take all of his clothes off BEFORE we get in bed. Just seeing his excited penis turns me on.

 

Warm It Up

"Lengthy foreplay please! Sex is always better (for both of us) when he takes the time to make out and get me really aroused beforehand."

Grab Her Like Gosling

"I want to be treated really passionately and aggressively. Like, throw me against a wall and grab me forcefully a la Ryan Gosling. and atimes shifting my panties to one side penetrating me from the front...hmmn

 

Stroke Her...Ego

"I just want my man to tell me that I am a very bright, very special woman (a la Richard Gere in Pretty Woman). I feel like most guys aren't so great with the compliments, and after you're naked with someone, that's all you really want

Take a Trip

"I would love to be whisked away on a last minute trip somewhere chic, have a lovely, innocent, romantic dinner...then on a walk back to our hotel, sneak off in an alley for an illicit, highly-charged tryst!"

Light Her Up

"Totally cliche, but I would love to be wooed in my bedroom with tons of candles lit everywhere. I just think candlelight makes me look better (which makes me feel sexy) and I think it's uber romantic and sweet."

 

 

 Get Hands On

"Get your fingers involved with the oral, boys! It takes things to a whole new level."

 

Get Foot loose

"I secretly wish my fiancé would suck my toes and rub my arches during sex. The slightest touch to my feet when we are shifting positions drives me wild!"

Morning Sex

"The thing I die for is a sneak attack when I'm asleep, and I wake up to my man "doing things" to me. Kiss of the neck from the spooning position (as I sleep on my side) and then full blown fun is the best."

 

Slow it Down

"Tell me to take my time. Women worry that it takes them too long to orgasm and that can lead to totally not enjoying the experience. When your man says he's down for marathon sex, you stop worrying and enjoy it more."

 

 

Get Carried Away

"Gotta say, I really like being picked up and carried to bed; it somehow manages to seem both romantic and manly at the same time."

 

Mood Music

"Set the mood—sexy music, pour us some drinks, touch my leg under the table at dinner. Just do something to change the mood from a normal one to a hot one."

 

Talk Dirty To Her

“I like a vocal guy—a little bit of dirty talk goes a long way."

Give Her A Buzz

"I love when my man encourages me to bring my vibrator to bed with us. It's a really wonderful addition to a long term relationship... after being together for a few years, things can get repetitive... spice it up with a toy!

 

Hope this helps you dudes....it ain't DONE...until its WELL DONE!...winked...have a blessed week ahead

 

Best regards

 

The Bishop